Religion vs. Relationship

If you've ever talked to me about my faith, you might notice that I have avoided using the word religion to the best of my ability. Why is that? Isn't Christianity a religion?

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Yes... It is.

But it's not.

Hear me out. When you think religion, what type of words or feelings come to mind? It's not always a positive reaction for people. I hope that it is a word that doesn't strike a nerve with you, but for too many people, the word religion brings hard feelings & resentment.

When I think of the word religion the words and phrases that pop into my mind are... rules and rituals, guilt driven obedience, guilty consciences, forced good behavior, cult atmosphere, lack of freedom. If you look up the definition of religion, a lot of the results have the word "system" within it. No wonder people hate religion- it's impersonal, cold, and its burdens are heavy.

So if the connotations of the word religion for me and many others are what I described above, why would I be involved in a religion?

Because being a follower of Christ is a relationship, not a religion.

I guess you could say my religion's title is Christianity, but the definition is 'a relationship with Christ.'

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It does not surprise me when people try and find God in their life and come up empty and angry in the end when they try and do it the "religion" way. All our lives we are taught by the secular religious leaders that "being a good person and doing your best" will gain you God's favor, and that if you aren't being blessed & are going through tough times then it must be that you aren't being good enough, or you didn't go to confessionals enough, or you didn't go to church enough... blah blah blah. STOP BELIEVING THAT. Look for the relationship, not the religion.

Instead of trying to earn God's favor by doing good deeds and following all the rigid traditions that mankind has force fed us for centuries, we need to focus on our helplessness to do it on our own and God's mercy and desire for us to know Him. How do we do this?

To help put it into perspective I'll share one of my favorite parts of a song that helped refresh my faith years ago. Andy Mineo, a Christian rapper, explains the difference between religion and relationship so simply and so clearly in one of his songs. He says...

"I still hate religion, why you think I'm a Christian?

They wanna know the difference...

The piece between God (has) been broke from our sinning,

Religion is man using his good deeds, tryna close the distance,

But we can never reach Him, only Jesus came to get us..."

So for fellow Christ followers, this hopefully is very clear and relatable. But for those who have not experienced the life changing touch of Christ, it can still be muddy waters to push through. Trying to un-learn the lies you've learned about God from a young age can be tough, but my friend it is worth it once you learn the truth. So I'll try to be clear in wrapping up this point.

Andy Mineo's few lines pack in all this information...

because of our sin (none of us are exempt- all of us have sinned [Romans 3:23]) we are eternally separated from God. We have no power on our own to earn a place in Heaven, because of our sin. Our sin gives us a debt that is un-payable... think of it like having to pay your boss back in 5 trillion hours of work in one lifetime- impossible (Matthew 18:21-35). But, the difference lies in how we approach this 'debt.' Religion teaches us that it is on us to pay back this debt by being a good person, trying hard, being kind to others, being generous, and saying you believe in God. Though subtly, religion teaches us that we can do it ourselves. The relationship is understanding and believing that we can't do it ourselves & Christ is the only way we can do it. In this we believe that Jesus, the Son of God, coming to earth to live a perfectly sinless life, to be the only & perfect sacrifice and to be nailed and killed on the cross, took OUR place and OUR punishment that only WE deserve. He rose from the dead three days after His death, and by doing so He defeated death/Satan/sin's grip on all those who call upon His name and believe in Him.

The "religion" fix says, "you're good enough to make God accept you." Which is utterly false, according to the Bible.

The "relationship" fix says, "you are a sinner, you cannot fix yourself or live a good enough life to make God accept you.. it is only through faith in Christ's life, death, and resurrection that we are forgiven of our sins and accepted by God- it's nothing we can do, it's all because of what Christ has done.

Does this make it more clear of why it doesn't shock me that so many people hate the idea of Christianity as a religion? People that are taught the 'religion way' miss the life changing, merciful, hopeful, eternal relationship that Christianity should always be.

To say you're a Christian and that you're going to Heaven because you've been a good person and you're not that bad means that you've been brainwashed by the false teaching of Christ. I don't want to ruffle any feathers here, rather I'm trying to hit you in the face with a brick of truth! Have you ever wondered why God feels so distant, why you feel so alone, why you feel like nothing you do is good enough, or if you've lived a good enough life to get you to Heaven when you die? If you've wondered or are still wondering that, I would bet that you've been taught Christianity is a religion, not a relationship.

Flip the script here.

Stop focusing on what YOU can do or need to do. Focus on what Christ has done for you. Once you intellectually understand the truth and purpose of Christ's life, death, & resurrection, you can make steps towards the relationship part of it- the emotional connection.

I'll be honest, it's hard for me to sit here and say there's a magic formula to have Christ enter your life. So, I'll share the way Christ revealed Himself to me. First it took the intellectual understanding of who He is, and what He did, and what He continues to do. Then, it took intentional desire for Him. I wanted to know more, I wanted Him to be the ruler of my life, and I would cry out to Him to enter my heart. It felt silly at first because it didn't feel like I was speaking to anyone, and it felt like I was just talking to air. But the day that it happened, I knew it was real. It is a supernatural, un-matchable, unexplainable feeling that is so undeniable that you know the Holy Spirit is alive in you.

I encourage you to start there. Start with literally just learning about God and His son Jesus. The best way to do that is to simply use the Bible. Open it and read. It will probably be tough to understand but that's okay. Just try. If you're in a depressed state, try reading through the book of Psalms; there are so many uplifting and powerful verses of praise within it. Or if you want to dive right into the Gospel of Christ, look at the book of John. Throughout your time learning, pray to God, ask Him to reveal Himself to you, ask Him to come into your life. Ask Him to soften your heart and mind to Him. And be patient. It may not happen overnight, but with true and genuine desire to know Him, He will enter your life and you will forever be changed & grateful.

How can I say that with confidence?

The Bible tells us, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." (Romans 10:13)

I want to address the above verse further.

There is another verse in the Bible that seemingly contradicts this verse. Matthew 7:21 says, "Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in Heaven." How can these two verses coexist? Does this mean there Bible is not to be trusted? No. Does this mean that the "do good deeds" teaching is actually valid? Not by any means.

Here's the dummy explanation... In Matthew 7, Christ is pointing out that false professions of faith will not be honored and rightly so. How do you know if the profession of faith was false? Here is where the intellectual and emotional aspects come in. Anyone on this earth could say, "Christ is the Son of God, and He is the only way to Heaven." Does this mean they are saved? Not without the surrender of their lives to the Father's will. See, anyone can say the words, but without action and submission the words are empty and meaningless. That is why Christ says, "but only the one who does the will of my Father..." will be saved. Once a person is actually saved through Christ, their life is transformed, their old self is dead, and they have a new life in Christ- hence the term, born again. Furthermore, the Romans 10:13 is saying that no one is restricted from calling out to Christ to be saved. If you're white, black, hispanic, disabled, in jail, a millionaire, etc., no matter who you are, you are not forbidden to seek forgiveness and salvation. The thing that separates those who will enter Heaven are the ones who are sincere in their faith and do not continue living for this world but rather live in obedience to God after professing their faith in Christ.

Let's say we were going to a company party that my friend works at. We get to the front entrance and I say, "yeah I work for this company, it's the best company!" With one quick look into my life, security kicks me to the curb. But I said I worked there, isn't that enough?! No, it's not. My history didn't show that I worked for them, so I was not invited in, even though I said I worked there. Get the difference between saying & doing?

"How can we be certain that our faith is genuine and our salvation is sure? Jesus said the proof lies in our obedience to God's Word. If we are in Christ, then as He works to conform us to His image, the evidence will be displayed in our character, conduct, and conversation."

-Charles Stanley

(Below is a link to the devotional written by Charles Stanley that explains this topic further in a quick & easy read. Read the Bible verses linked above Stanley's entry, then read his explanation)

https://www.intouch.org/read/magazine/daily-devotions/is-your-faith-genuine