My Faith Testimony

While I don't have a dramatic, near death, experience that convinced me to believe in Jesus, my story is nonetheless important to me because it's all about how Jesus saved my life; both present and eternal.

Read below to get the full story :)

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I was lucky.

Maybe the better word for it is blessed- but when it comes to family, class, health, and so on, I can't say that lucky doesn't fit the script. I'm not saying this to brag, but rather to show that even though God has blessed me throughout my life, I still fell off the wagon, so-to-speak. So how did it all begin?

I'm the daughter of two amazing parents who have always shown me Christ, and the youngest of their four girls. I can't thank God enough for my family, they have been there for me through thick and thin... and I know that is not something to take for granted. Growing up it was all about God, but not to the point where it was annoying and made me want to get away from it all. I know that one of the verses my dad would remind himself of is to not exasperate his children, but to lead them in a Godly manner (Ephesians 6:4). This allowed his household to be full of patience, love, and understanding, rather than force feeding religion or losing his mind when we would disobey. (This will come into play later in this post.)

“Things got... busy.”

I do not remember the exact day or even year that I surrendered my life to Jesus, but I do remember the supernatural feeling when I did. I specifically remember thinking to my young self, "I don't know how this just happened, but I know that this is real, and I know that no matter what happens in my life, it's going to be okay. I'm going to be okay, forever."

Overall, my life involved God, school, and sports. Things got... busy. We all know that this day in age is all about efficiency, instant gratification, and doing as much as we can as quick as we can. This type of living makes it so easy to forget to dedicate time to the Lord, and that's exactly what happened. I let things slip. I didn't pray as much, I was addicted to my phone, I was obsessed with my social status, and I let the world (which will also be referred to as "the flesh") take hold of me and I put God on the back burner. This isn't to say I stopped believing in Him, nor doubt His existence. Rather, I simply wasn't living for Him anymore. I was living for myself. Which I quickly learned is a very dangerous way to live.

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As I said, growing up my faith was strong. However, once middle school hit (7th & 8th grade), things changed. I vividly remember my sisters saying to me, "I'm scared for you to go to middle school." Naturally, I asked why. They replied with, "because your age and grade is when the real world really starts to reach you. It's not as innocent, and it's a lot to handle." Boy they were right. I was learning about things I had never heard of before. The innocent youth walls were crumbling down. Despite my mind being jam packed with worldly things I had never known before, my faith stayed fairly strong. I still stood up for my faith, and I was not giving into temptations easily.

Then comes freshman year...

I thought middle school was tough, pshhh, I had no idea what I was in for come high school. High school was fun at first. I was single for the first time in a while, I was having a blast playing sports, and I enjoyed the new school day schedule. This is when the fire of my faith started to go out. Things got busier and I got even lazier in my walk with God. A few months into freshman year, I got into a relationship with a guy a few years older than me. You know when you're 15 years old and you think you have everything under control and that no one understands you? Oh, and that you're going to marry your bf/gf that you are dating? Yeah, that was me. I'm the type of person that puts my entire being into whatever I am doing (unless its homework, I hate homework lol). So when I was dating this guy, let's call him.. uhm.. Guy- (I'm not creative, that's as good as it's getting!)- I totally put my everything into that relationship. I abandoned my values, I did not stand up for myself or my faith, and I was wrapped around Guy's finger. Without going into too much detail, this was the relationship where I completely shut out God, and my whole personality changed. I got into trouble while in this relationship which ended in a forced break up. At first I was against it, and thought that everyone hated me for not letting me date him. As time went on, I realized I was getting better. I was smiling more, I was more relaxed, I didn't feel like I had to apologize for everything I did, and I felt free. I realized then and there that the trouble & forced breakup was really a blessing in disguise and that my family and everyone around me was right all along.

Then I realized something else when my head was finally clear. Why did I run away from God?

There’s was one Easter weekend that everything just clicked. I was sobbing during the Maundy Thursday service because for the first time in a long time I realized the reality of what Jesus had done for me, and how much He loves me. I felt born again for the second time- I felt renewed in my faith in that one Easter weekend. I remember feeling like I got hit over the head with a spiritual brick that said, "Hey dummy, this whole struggle was to strengthen your faith. Remember what you told yourself when you were young? No matter what happens, you'll be okay. You're okay." During the time that I was dealing with the consequences of the trouble I got in, my parents were angels. I had to gain their trust back, but their love for me and for God was extremely clear. They were patient with me, they showed their love by taking it day by day with me. And they reminded me how God can and does use our absolute worst times to show His glory and mercy. That relationship showed me how dangerous it can be to live for myself and take on the world on my own. It humbled me by showing me that I can't do it on my own. But that's okay. I'd rather take on this world with the God who created it, than by myself.

As time went on, my faith grew strong again. It ebbs and flows till this day, but the important thing that I remind myself of is that I cannot earn my way to heaven, it's a matter of faith. Jesus paved the way to the Father by being crucified for me and sinners alike, and defeating death by rising from the dead. This means that no amount of good works I do will buy me a ticket into heaven, but by faith alone I will enter heaven's gates. Truly believing that Jesus is the Son of God and was sent to live and die for us is how we are able to have a relationship with the Lord our God and eventually spend eternity in His presence.

My testimony doesn't end here. It is how I live every day, for the rest of my life. It's not perfect, nor will it be. But surrendering my life to Christ will guide it all the way.