My Prayer When I'm Numb

Being alive is a wonderful blessing, but we all know too well that there are points in life where we can feel numb to it all.

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There's no mistaking it, life is great. Even in the struggles, the fact that we are living and breathing is a blessing we shouldn't take for granted. However, there are some days, some weeks, or even months & years where we may feel lost, confused, or even simply feel "out of it"- not happy, not sad, just blah.

I thank God that those moments don't last very long for me, but I would be lying if I said those blah phases don't leak into my spiritual life. There are months when I have a fire under me for God, and then there are months when I can't even bring myself to pray because it feels forced, like I'm just going through the motions. Hence why this website lays dormant time and again.

The Spirit in me, on the other hand, reminds me of how important it is to continuously pray- as it can revive the fire in me for Him. So while it feels forced in the first couple of seconds, I pray my "numb prayer" to dust off the cobwebs, and turn my heart back to Jesus.

So, on those days when I have nothing left in me, no emotion, no energy, no motivation, I lay in bed, breathe slow and focus on the sounds around me and in me. I ignore my anxious thoughts for a moment, and I think about my life. And I begin.

Each numb prayer varies in what I say, but this is the gist...

"Lord,

Thank you for my life. Thank you for allowing me to see, hear, taste, smell, walk, talk, run, drive, work, sleep, and love.

Thank you for providing for me and my family. We have a house, beds, blankets, socks, jackets, a bathroom, unbroken windows, a roof over our heads. None of this is deserved, it is all because of your love and provisions for us.

Thank you for granting me every breath I breathe, and every next breath I will breathe. You could end me with a word, but you sustain me and you give me a healthy life that I am forever grateful for.

Thank you for my family, for Jake, for Mia, and all those in my life. There's nothing I would trade.

Thank you for the air we breathe, the water we drink, and the grass we walk on. Thank you for blessing us with the beauty of nature, and thank you for loving us above it all.

Thank you for Jesus. Thank you for giving Him to us. Thank you for His life, His death, and His resurrection. Thank you that the Spirit allowed me to understand and believe in this truth. Thank you for showing me your realness every day I wake. Thank you that I know that even if I lose every last thing in my life, I still have you.

'Hallelujah, all I have is Christ.

Hallelujah, Jesus is my life!'"

Soon after I end praying, I fall asleep in peace and gladness. Sometimes I even fall asleep while praying. Once you start thinking about your life, even the bad things, you realize how amazingly blessed you are. Praying this "numb prayer" allows me to reset my focus on what Jesus has done for me in the present, and what I have to look forward to in the future & for eternity because I believe He is the Son of God, who died to take the punishment of OUR sins, who rose from the grave and defeated death so that we have a way to the Father in Heaven. I pray that you, whether you are mature in your faith, a new believer, or someone who is simply searching, will be able to use this kind of prayer to kick start your life walk with Jesus, or reset your focus on His love for you. This is the type of prayer we can use even when we are full of fire and love for God. We can ALWAYS thank Him for all that we have and all that we are in Him. So don't limit this to just the blah days, you won't regret it!

Glory be to God!